Goals, Grit & Lipstick…

And why the fu*k you should even care.

Let me start with a few distinctions that are important in today’s conversation. Without them, it would be easy to misunderstand the message.

Feminine Energy: While the defining characteristics of femininity are not universally identical, some patterns exist: gentleness, empathy, sensitivity, caring, sweetness, compassion, tolerance, nurturance, deference, and succorance are traits that have traditionally been cited as feminine.

Masculine Energy encompases traits like strength, courage, independence, violence, assertiveness, machismo and virility.

To put this into perspective the best example is the Yin/Yang.

Yin refers to the feminine or softer energies in life, and yang refers to the masculine or harder energies in life. Giving is an action of our divine masculine, and receiving is an action of our divine feminine, and a balance of both energies is when we feel harmonious within.

It really doesn’t have anything to do with having a penis. It has more to do with the energy we draw from having those “male” or masculine characteristics. Within each of us, male or female, we have two kinds of energy that we tap into. They happen to be masculine and feminine. They work like Yin (feminine) and Yang (masculine).

Still a little fuzzy on the whole masculine vs feminine energy concept? Let”s break it down even further… When we look at a Yin Yang we see perfect proportions of Yin and Yang. Yin represents the positive, light, or feminine energy of the Universe, the polarized version of Yang; dark, negative, or masculine characteristics. Now split the Yin Yang in half and look closer at Yang.

Let’s just use the Yin as an example, but get that the same is true for the Yang.

In your mind imagine the Yin half separated from the Yang. You’ll notice there is another circle within it. In your mind’s eye magnify the Yin so you can see the smaller circle more clear.

Next, imagine that the circle inside Yin is a smaller Yin Yang. In order for Yin to be perfectly balanced or stable, it must first balance its own, respective, Yin Yang. And so must masculine energy learn to balance its inner or “core” feminine and masculine energy. Think of it as masculine energy’s power source, a spiritual battery of such.

Within each of us is the both light/dark, feminine/masculine… as physical manifestations of energy we are not only one but BOTH… and we pull our resources to and fro, back and forth on the pendulum depending on what the situation is… Some situations may call for a softer touch… while others, need a more commanding firm approach.

Follow me so far?

Here’s an infographic simply outlining the differences between the two energies.. What you’ll find is that is that nowhere does it say “boys have a penis & girls have a vagina.”

I joke, but here’s the point…

This conversation is not about gender… it’s about energy. Language/Terminology is just tool we use to communicate concepts… You can call it banana vs barefoot monkey if that’s makes you more comfortable as long as the framework is agreed upon, that’s all that truly matters.

Why even bring it up, right? I bring it up because it’s important that we embrace who we are created to be. That doesn’t mean you have to conform to the limited concepts others have.  What it means, is…. 

Fu*ck what anyone else thinks! Be unapologetically authentically YOU, always and love every stinkin’ imperfection! It’s what makes you beautiful!

It’s not about your gender, sexuality, race, religion, income etc., etc., etc.  

It’s about loving yourself and the people around you without exception with the understanding that we are ALL physical beings created of the same energy.

Let’s talk about Goals, Baby!

Now that we’ve established the differences in energy and understand that it has zero to do with gender let’s talk about goals.

Goals: the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim; a pole, line, or other marker by which such a point is indicated.

Zig Ziglar said something a long time ago that resonated with me… he said,

“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.”

Let’s face it, we all have goals that we’ve set that never got accomplished (New Year’s Resolutions) and there are new ways to set them popping up all over the internet almost daily. SMART Goals, Progressive Goals, Kizan Method, HARD Method, the WOOP Method… the list goes on.

How we set goals is irrelevant, and as a tool, only as valuable as the changes it makes in our life.

Setting goals isn’t about the method or the accomplishment… It’s about the becoming. It’s about what/who we become through the small behavioral shifts we make in our daily routines that get us to the finish line.

You may not always achieve the goals you’ve set out to do, but you will achieve more than you would have if the goal did not exist and THAT is the point!

The journey to achieve a goal is governed by the person you become along the way, the skills acquired, the connections made and the inner growth that takes place.

So why is it important to have goals?

It’s important because we should always be in a constant loop of never ending improvement.  You don’t have to be the best, just better than you were the day before.

But don’t take my word for it… Check out the list of 21 benefits you get from setting goals. 

Now let’s talk about Grit.

What is Grit exactly? I thought you would never ask!

Git is that thing inside of us that keeps us focused on something regardless of setbacks. It’s our drive to get shit done. It’s sinking our teeth into something and not letting go. It’s firmness of character, indomitable spirit, perseverance and passion.  

Some people say you’re just born with it. Me I say, fuck those people! Grit isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you’ve learned. As a child you may have had parents who worked their asses off to keep a roof over your head and food on the table. Grit. Their example became your way of being. Some of you may have been through a significant emotional experience where you had no choice but to put your head down and keep pushing forward. Grit. Experience became your best teacher.


Then there are some of you listening out there that give up the minute things get hard and feel like life just isn’t fair.

Get that wherever you are right now is exactly where you are meant to be in this exact moment.

Also get that if something is learned trait…. It CAN BE learned!

Grit is the quintessential trait necessary to kick the shit out of life!

I call my company The Brave Academy because I get that we’re talking about things that push you outside your comfort zone and that can be downright scary! Our machinery, the subconscious mind and all its magnificent programming is designed with one primary function that outweighs all the others… To keep us safe!

But get that SAFE doesn’t put us in growth mode. To grow we need to delve into the unfamiliar. We need to stand on the edge of our comfort zone and embrace the things that scare us.

Fun fact: Excitement and Fear have the exact physiological manifestations. Think about it. When you’re excited, your palms are sweaty… your heartbeat races… there’s probably a little bit of sweat on your forehead and upper lip… Sounds a lot like what your body does when it’s scared too, huh?

The only thing that makes them different is the story, or beliefs, we associate with the circumstance.

So what does it mean to be Brave? Bravery is standing on the edge of discomfort and choosing to take the next step. Just one brave step at a time. And the great news is… You don’t have to do it alone!

Yeah, yeah… I get it but what’s any of this got to do with lipstick?

Lipstick is a phenomenon….

It’s the celebration of our feminine energy!

A metaphor for confidence, strength and an overall badassery mindset.  Not too long ago I polled hundreds of women about their lipstick and how it makes them feel. You can find a short fun article in my blog titled “The Lipstick Effect.” 

It’s also a reminder that feminine energy is something we can embrace and celebrate. It’s a unity in spirit for everything women have fought for over the decades. A way of being that says “I am woman, hear me roar” without putting a vagina on our heads and parading through the streets.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that! I say step into your greatness in whatever form that is… you wanna wear a vagina on your head or a beaver suite, own it and be the best version of YOU!

So that’s it… now you know…

Goals, Grit & Lipstick it’s everything modern women need to conquer doubt, get sh*t done and feel fabulous!

So what say you?

I would love to hear your feedback! Drop your comments below. Agree. Disagree. It matters not! Just find your voice and join me for next week’s thought provoking podcast at WTF Are You Thinking???

Don’t forget to hit that subscribe button and then join me on Social @GoalsGritLipstick or Insta and Pinterest @TheBraveAcademy!

Hugs and kisses until next time!

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    Goals, Grit & Lipstick… ~

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