If you could win the war against yourself, specifically, your inner critic, you would have won a very long time ago.
The truth is… It’s never going to happen. Sure, I would love to tell you the opposite but it would be lie, and that’s not what I’m about.
What we CAN do, is learn when that inner critic is talking smack and change course to a more productive, healthy way of thinking.
I’ve noticed that when it comes to unfolding, change, growth, transformation and getting stuff done – in my own life and that of clients – instead of being loving, kind and warm with ourselves we attack, It’s in our words:
‘My biggest problem is …’
“I’ve always dreamed of… but I CAN’T”
“I know this is a stupid idea…”
“This isn’t going to be easy…”
“This is HARD.”
You know how confusing that is to your brain? There is part of your mind willing to change, but there is another part of your mind – stronger because the habitual thinking hasn’t been changed – going to war against it.
You can’t change old programming with the same old program. It wouldn’t take the update. You have to install brand new bug-free software.
A brain at war with itself is scary sh*t. It causes tremendous inner turmoil and conflict.
Is this the part where we high-five each other, punch the air, go to Pinterest and pin happy quotes, and never utter a negative word?
No… That doesn’t solve a thing.
It IS the part where we put down – or practice to – all weapons we are using against ourselves. (I’m talking about our words.)
And we breathe.
And we look at what we are creating.
And we breathe again.
And we simply notice if we are creating a war zone or a lovefest in our own head. It’s that simple.
Then we make a choice. Are we going to charge ahead with the old thinking, or are we going to look for more peaceful and loving alternatives; Even if it feels slightly uncomfortable?
Examples? I thought you would never ask!
Here you go:
Instead of: One of the biggest problems I have (which is reminding your brain not to forget about all the problems you have. You are telling yourself that they are all huge… and depending on how you feel; they are unpassable.)
Could become: The solution I’m seeking right now is…
Instead of: This is going to be hard. I won’t make it. (which is reminding your brain to find all the possible hard ways to do something, remove the joy of the journey and by all means necessary…. Don’t let success be an option!)
Could become: This may be a challenge and I’m looking forward to finding a way to make it happen but the fun is in the journey.
OMG, Jennifer!! I can’t remember all that.
You don’t have to.
You just have to pause, be aware of your thoughts and ask yourself “Is there another way, a more loving way, of responding and reacting to this?”
There’s a lot to this. NLP, or Neuro-Linguistic Programming, is an effective way to reprogram the way the mind works. Don’t just take my word for it; Here’s some of the studies.
AND… When you combine it with a system that focuses on behaviours… well, that’s when sh*t get’s real! You’ll be kicking ass and taking names in no time!
Your words matter!
I’m breaking it down to some pretty basic stuff but the truth is, your words matter! The ones you speak out loud AND the ones that you use when you are talking to yourself.
Isn’t it about time you stopped being at war with yourself and took the time to be exactly who you KNOW you are?
Not sure where to start? Let’s Chat!
Schedule a completely free, no B.S. coaching session and let’s create something together! If you’re not ready, that’s cool too. Join me on Facebook @BraveNewMe2 and @GoalsGritLipstick for daily inspiration and reminders of your badassery!